Change

I am slowly changing my focus. You have been my friendship center, anchor, for so long that it has been a little surreal learning how to change. I am not good with change (unless it is a move). Just as our children changed our focus and opened our eyes to a whole new world beyond ourselves, I am changing and trying to branch out. I have not made any friends here and it is time I start to try. I didn't need to before, I had you. It is time I grow roots in Myrtle Beach, and not in the sand where the earth is forever changing, shifting, eroding, and unstable but on solid ground. My kids need for me to grow roots here. Jaynee and Zayne are always talking about when they get older they are moving back to Virginia, their stability. It is my theory that because my roots have been back in Virginia and not replanted to here that they are constantly on the sand with me. The change is going to be a slow and hard process. I don't make friends easily. I make acquaintances, not friends. So, I am jumping off the sand and onto the dirt. It is time to plant my roots deep and wait for the spring so I can grow. You are part of those roots, your smile and joy will be reflected in the blossoms, for you are apart of my heart, my trunk but just like a tree from those blossoms comes new growth. I will rely on your flower of life to help me grow, help my children grow. Notice, I said when spring comes? I am giving myself the winter to hibernate. Hahaha! I love you, I miss you.